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May 15, 2012
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Child of the light of a darkened star
With much to carry much too far.
Under the light of a half bright moon
Calls, and sings to an unknown tune.

Dance in the shadows; laugh with the rain,
Flitter, here, gone, and back again.
In the midnight hours helping flowers grow,
Whispering secret songs daylight will never know.

My sometimes friend and sometimes not,
With no earthly beginning, end, or start,
Come quickly my friendly thief and hold my hand, my heart.

Child of the light of a darkened star,
With much to carry, much too far.
Under the light of a half dark moon,
Please, come quickly, come quietly, my friend, come soon.  
:iconstarlightfeather13:
My first poem post to Deviantart! A new experience with an old poem.
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:iconmasterpandastudios:
Mood: Love ~masterpandastudios Aug 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
fabulous, I love the way you used the beginning at the end :) one of those poems that transports me...lovely metaphors. And all in all very very good :D
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:iconstarlightfeather13:
Thank you tons <3 ^^
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:iconplatinummyr:
=platinummyr Jul 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:)

I feel that some of the longer lines are forced in order to meet the rhyme pattern. It might be interesting to try and match the rhythms better, though it definitely isn't easy.

I like the piece overall though :) The first line seems odd Did you repeat the title on accident? I think you meant it to be "Child of the light of a darkened star" without the title repeat as the first two words.

I also think you could avoid over-use of "of" on that first line. Otherwise I like :)
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:iconstarlightfeather13:
^^ Thanks for the help and suggestions.
Your work is wicked spiffy by the way <3
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:iconplatinummyr:
=platinummyr Jul 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:aww: :blush: :blushes:
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